Sick As A Parrot

About 10 minutes from the end of the game they get a corner and I'm marking the right half. The ball comes over bounces around a few body parts of various people in the penalty before a skewed header sends the ball my way. It grazes my cheek and nose and goes out for a corner. When I get home I notice a brown streak on my nose. Normally this would be attributed to failed attempts at gaining a pay rise or a promotion but it was dirt this time folks. 'Goal kick' the ref indicates and points to the 6 yard box. 'Corner, ref' I helpfully point out. The ref is steadfastly pointing to the 6 yard box refusing to change his mind. The right half mentions to the ref that I've called it as a corner but to no avail. So far so good but as we stroll out to take our positions for the goal kick our centre half starts telling me to keep quiet. ' Shut up man' he says. 'Hey sportsmanship !' I retort. 'No need for Christmas presents' he says 'Recreation...

I'm not sure of the details but apparently we lost in the weekend. No-one showed up for the game so the team was embellished by ringers looking for an early game. My absence was well known ahead of the game and I can only guess the 8:30 Sunday morning kickoff was too early for some of the lads. Commitment, dedication to the cause - these are the things that bind a team together. Phil rocked up and did a stint in goal which on the surface of things was an act of sportsmanship unrivaled. Closer examination reveals perhaps a more sinister reason for turning out for us. Yup I think our stunning 2 - 2 from last weekend goaded him into some early season scouting ahead of our head to head. Fortunately his planned scouting mission was undone by the pure unmitigated laziness of the lads. Nice one boys. The game losing goal should be on YouTube under great sporting mishaps/bloopers/disasters. Into the last minute of the game with the score at 2 - 2. A nothing ball is played through and our...

The wait is over, the season opener, a new set of team mates and finally a game to play after the winter break. We've got an excellent team with Ronaldo , Ronnie, Elliot, Ali, Josh, Marco amongst the players along with Martin, David and the new boy Ron. George the goal machine is the boss. Martin did the decent thing and signed up as a part time keeper which is great since our new team doesn't have a full time keeper. Both Martin and Elliot are supposedly our keepers for the season but in reality everyone will pitch in. Still it's great that Martin signed up, a real team player and we're grateful. Except he didn't play!. He was off skiing for the weekend but since I'm doing the same next week I can't make too big a deal about it. I figured I'd get my shift out the way smartish so I stepped up to go between the sticks for the second half. That being the case there was no way I was starting in defense for this game. Right half beckoned mainly because Ali ...

The season proper kicks off next weekend and our pre -season training wrapped up with Sundays pickup games. The final phase of our preparations started on Friday night with drinks around at Martins followed by a few hours of intensive footy watching on the telly on Saturday. Suitably fortified in mind and body we were more than prepared to usher in the new season with an hour or so of hoofing around the hallowed turf. As mentioned in the previous post the new season brings big Ron to the fore. Martin and I had assisted in getting him ready for the game by totally ignoring him ever since we pressed ganged him into the team. With the advice of 'pace yourself' and 'take it easy in the beginning mate' etc still fresh in his head, the game started and Ron took off like a startled rabbit. Obviously we need to work on that coaching technique. I imagine there was less sprinting in the Oklahoma land grabs. He started off at left back with instructions just to walk up with the l...