Sick As A Parrot

Little Finger miscontrolled the ball and in doing so threw off the entire defense who was expecting his normally immaculate first touch to bring the ball down and shift it to the right before pushing back onto his left. The aforementioned move to the right never materialized and when the ball which should have been under control, kept fizzing across his body the defense were left stranded allowing Little Finger to pass the ball to the back post. He then proceeded to miskick the pass and it curved apologetically from left to right and into the back of the net past an equally stranded goal keeper. That made it 3 - 0 and arrogance was rife amongst B5 as we started stroking the ball around the backline, maintaining possession and switching the play. Awesome stuff which quickly let to the score being 3- 2 with Bran being culpable in giving the ball away on both occasions. With the last kick of the game, from a corner they had, the ball bounced perfectly in front of one of their midfield...

Without knowing the score you can always tell how we’re doing based on the volume and direction of Little Fingers vocal utterances. Maybe not utterances, more frantic cries of despair and abuse - at his own team mates. Apparently not being on the end of one of his immaculate passes is a heinous crime. So is having a breather after sprinting the length of the field, twice. What is not a heinous crime is dilly dallying on the ball whilst Bran makes a surging run and so when Little Fingers pass is duly dispatched Bran is offside. Bran's fault since “..you ran too fast..”. Obvious really. With our keeper missing it was time for the short straws as to who gets to put in a shift between the sticks. Bran did a spell in goal and, as befitting of someone who has mobility issues, we were soon 2- 0 down. After being replaced by Dr Evil, 4- 0 quickly followed, however at halftime it was 4 - 1. Bran did get an assist, unfortunately it was to pass the ball to the Giroud-esque forward on...

We were playing well and keeping it tight with some great possession football only to find ourselves 2- 0 down after 15 mins. Taking pity on us the refs called for a water break and after some finger pointing and hand waving we got organized for the rest of the half and went in 3 - 1 down.  Halfway through the second half Little Finger showed himself to be a team player by volunteering to go in goal. 15 seconds after going in goal Little Finger shows himself to be team player for the other team by letting the first shot against him sail through his hands to make in 4 - 1. Somehow we got it to 4 - 2, then 4 - 3 with my left foot curler from about 12 yards. At this stage Little Finger is saving everything and simultaneously proving that hands are both over rated and redundant for a goal keeper. 4 - 4 with 5 mins to go and they then get 3 quick corners with 2 mins to go. Balls are flying into our box from all directions, and not in a good way. We’re yelling at the ref to end the...