I was involved in a game on Sunday that was one of the most one-sided games I've have ever witnessed. One sided not because the opposition were rubbish rather because it was a game in which everything came together. Precision passing, pacy overlaps, unexpected goals and individual flair. A symbiotic relationship built on mutual needs of the team and the individual, where the sum of the parts exceeded the whole or something like that. A game played in the manner of how football should be played. A game for the purists.
I can't claim to have played a major part in the game but just being there is sometimes enough. About 6 hours after that game I got up off the couch and headed out to join up with Martin and the lads for our Sunday hack around.
I wouldn't say we were inspired by demolition job Arsenal did on Reading but our game mirrored the earlier game in at least one aspect. It was so one sided that we played most of the game in the opposition half.
Martin put on one of his shooting exhibitions by blasting against the bar and the post. As James put it 'I never seen Martin score but he sure has enough goes at it'. To be fair Martin had no nuts for the game. Not literately but almost. He stopped a well struck pass in the region of the body that commentators call 'a sensitive area'. Massage is probably the appropriate treatment but the volunteers were in short supply. Getting hit in the 'sensitive area' provokes comments like 'that must have one heck of an accurate shot' and 'if they can hit a target that small...'. Players hit in the 'sensitive area' are obliged to grimace, shake a leg and start moving in a hopping jogging type manner as quickly as possible since the ridicule is proportional to the amount of time you're immobile.
Martin got moving quite quickly and was presented with an open goal about 5 yards out. All he had to do was jump about a foot in the air and get any part of his body to make contact with the ball and it was a goal. He attempted to get airborne without actually getting his feet off the ground. Instead he made this pathetic neck straining type action and I think the ball actually grazed his hair as he failed to make any kind of decent contact with it.
He also hit the bar from about a yard out. I hear you howl that I'm exaggerating and there's no way anyone could miss from there and I've calculated the angle of impact that the foot needs to hit the ball and it's not possible etc etc. I know all this but seriously one yard out, hits the bar and bounces away. He reckons the keeper saved it but that's an attempt at redemption I reckon.
It's only fair that I point out my own head in hands moment or at least the worst one from this game. I switched up from right back to right wing about half way through the first half as I fancied a bit of run at the defence. A good intention and I was quickly given the perfect opportunity via what is termed a slide rule pass from the soon to be nutless wonder. For once there was no offside since Martin released a ball angling away from the defender and towards the right hand corner flag at the perfect moment. Getting the drop on the defender I had a decision to make - take a touch to control the ball or whack it first time. Hey I'm a bloke so I don't need to waste time getting things ready so whacking the ball was the only choice I was ever going to make. As I buried my head in my hands I have a vague recollection of the corner flag ducking out of the way as the ball flew towards it i.e. no where near the direction of the goal. The net result was a shameful wave to the team mates, acknowledgement of the pass and a long slow trudge back towards the half way line.
Oh yeah 1 - 1 and we scored both goals. Not a brilliant result and I suspect we were trying to be a bit flash. Still the game on the telly was great but rough on Phil who is a Reading supporter. By the principle of 6 degrees of separation I'm claiming an assist for our goal. But then again so is Kevin Bacon.
I can't claim to have played a major part in the game but just being there is sometimes enough. About 6 hours after that game I got up off the couch and headed out to join up with Martin and the lads for our Sunday hack around.
I wouldn't say we were inspired by demolition job Arsenal did on Reading but our game mirrored the earlier game in at least one aspect. It was so one sided that we played most of the game in the opposition half.
Martin put on one of his shooting exhibitions by blasting against the bar and the post. As James put it 'I never seen Martin score but he sure has enough goes at it'. To be fair Martin had no nuts for the game. Not literately but almost. He stopped a well struck pass in the region of the body that commentators call 'a sensitive area'. Massage is probably the appropriate treatment but the volunteers were in short supply. Getting hit in the 'sensitive area' provokes comments like 'that must have one heck of an accurate shot' and 'if they can hit a target that small...'. Players hit in the 'sensitive area' are obliged to grimace, shake a leg and start moving in a hopping jogging type manner as quickly as possible since the ridicule is proportional to the amount of time you're immobile.
Martin got moving quite quickly and was presented with an open goal about 5 yards out. All he had to do was jump about a foot in the air and get any part of his body to make contact with the ball and it was a goal. He attempted to get airborne without actually getting his feet off the ground. Instead he made this pathetic neck straining type action and I think the ball actually grazed his hair as he failed to make any kind of decent contact with it.
He also hit the bar from about a yard out. I hear you howl that I'm exaggerating and there's no way anyone could miss from there and I've calculated the angle of impact that the foot needs to hit the ball and it's not possible etc etc. I know all this but seriously one yard out, hits the bar and bounces away. He reckons the keeper saved it but that's an attempt at redemption I reckon.
It's only fair that I point out my own head in hands moment or at least the worst one from this game. I switched up from right back to right wing about half way through the first half as I fancied a bit of run at the defence. A good intention and I was quickly given the perfect opportunity via what is termed a slide rule pass from the soon to be nutless wonder. For once there was no offside since Martin released a ball angling away from the defender and towards the right hand corner flag at the perfect moment. Getting the drop on the defender I had a decision to make - take a touch to control the ball or whack it first time. Hey I'm a bloke so I don't need to waste time getting things ready so whacking the ball was the only choice I was ever going to make. As I buried my head in my hands I have a vague recollection of the corner flag ducking out of the way as the ball flew towards it i.e. no where near the direction of the goal. The net result was a shameful wave to the team mates, acknowledgement of the pass and a long slow trudge back towards the half way line.
Oh yeah 1 - 1 and we scored both goals. Not a brilliant result and I suspect we were trying to be a bit flash. Still the game on the telly was great but rough on Phil who is a Reading supporter. By the principle of 6 degrees of separation I'm claiming an assist for our goal. But then again so is Kevin Bacon.
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