Eyes as big as saucers and probably salivating to boot. I'm talking about First Touch Phil and I need to set the scene...
We had no league games this weekend on account of it being Easter but there was a rolling pickup game. The pickup game lasts about 4 hours with about a minute break every 20 minutes for people to sub in or out. We normally play 4 or 5 of the 20 minute segments and Martin had elected to go in goal for one of them. Phil was on the opposing team and turned into a marauding centre forward once he saw Martin between the sticks. There was a two on two situation with Jinksy, I think, flying down the left wing - past our right back and me tracking Phil in the centre. The ball is crossed perfectly and I reckon Phil was already to wheel away in a goal celebration as he got in front of me. Martin stood in goal like a stunned mullet. First Touch, normally so reliable, blew it completely and ball continued it's merry way to the other side of the pitch where upon I collected it, making some polite remark to One Touch as I went by.
Didn't matter really. Martin let in a screamer that might have chipped a nail on the way in. A decent shot but if you imagine jumping up without actually taking your feet off the ground then you get some idea of his technique for stopping the ball flying over his head. That put us 2 - 1 down.
He cleared off after that and we ended up winning 3 - 2. There's some math we could do here.
Special mention to Big Rons shirt. Scored on Sunday and played pretty well in goal, defence, midfield and attack. Big Ron was not wearing it though, it was loaned out to Arpakorn a mate of Martins who is in town from Thailand. Martin mentioned that he had never played before yada yada yada but we managed to get him into a couple of games. Turns out the lad ain't too bad and does a fair impression of the goal keeper and a decent footballer in general. It didn't take him too long to get into the swing of things, mindless hoofing, yelling at everyone and scoring scrambled goals. Martin tried to claim the assist for Arpakorns goal. Yeah right but he did do him a favour by keeping out the way. More math here.
We had no league games this weekend on account of it being Easter but there was a rolling pickup game. The pickup game lasts about 4 hours with about a minute break every 20 minutes for people to sub in or out. We normally play 4 or 5 of the 20 minute segments and Martin had elected to go in goal for one of them. Phil was on the opposing team and turned into a marauding centre forward once he saw Martin between the sticks. There was a two on two situation with Jinksy, I think, flying down the left wing - past our right back and me tracking Phil in the centre. The ball is crossed perfectly and I reckon Phil was already to wheel away in a goal celebration as he got in front of me. Martin stood in goal like a stunned mullet. First Touch, normally so reliable, blew it completely and ball continued it's merry way to the other side of the pitch where upon I collected it, making some polite remark to One Touch as I went by.
Didn't matter really. Martin let in a screamer that might have chipped a nail on the way in. A decent shot but if you imagine jumping up without actually taking your feet off the ground then you get some idea of his technique for stopping the ball flying over his head. That put us 2 - 1 down.
He cleared off after that and we ended up winning 3 - 2. There's some math we could do here.
Special mention to Big Rons shirt. Scored on Sunday and played pretty well in goal, defence, midfield and attack. Big Ron was not wearing it though, it was loaned out to Arpakorn a mate of Martins who is in town from Thailand. Martin mentioned that he had never played before yada yada yada but we managed to get him into a couple of games. Turns out the lad ain't too bad and does a fair impression of the goal keeper and a decent footballer in general. It didn't take him too long to get into the swing of things, mindless hoofing, yelling at everyone and scoring scrambled goals. Martin tried to claim the assist for Arpakorns goal. Yeah right but he did do him a favour by keeping out the way. More math here.
Comments
"Newton, wins the ball with a crunching tackle in midfield. What a great engine this man has, forget box-to-box, he's goal-line to goal-line. Now Newton plays a delicious through ball to Karl, breaking down the left. Took out the whole defence with one ball there did Newton, what vision! Karl beats the right back, looks up, and there, Newton, steaming into the box from nowhere! Karl whips the ball into the box and......oh my, just in front of Newton. If only Karls accuracy could have matched that of The Big Man From Berkshire, we were looking at a certain goal, with McNealis stranded on his line like a stunned mullet. That chance was made entirely by Newton, great tackle, stunning accuracy with the through ball and blistering pace to beat Alexi Lalas at left back, only to see the ball whistle past his giant big toe, it's Gazza at Euro 96 all over again.